Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Rough Day

I'm having one of those days. I'm feeling harassed and unappreciated. 
I guess we shouldn't expect to be appreciated as a stay at home mother. I don't expect Matilda to say "gee thanks Mummy!" but for the dishwasher to be emptied on occasion, the tub to be rinsed out even once, the vacuuming to be done from time to time or even the trash to be taken out without me having to ask WOULD BE HEAVEN!

I'm feeling very frustrated with this mess we call home. I never, ever get to stop. Matilda hasn't been very well lately so I have to change her diaper as soon as I think she's wet. She is in a phase where she tries to get away when I try to change her so I have to wrestle her to clean her up with cotton and water and rub a steroid cream into her bottom.
She's been waking in the middle of the night with tummy aches, or teething pain. 
I'm exhausted. 
I need help! 
 I've asked for help in every way I can think of. It doesn't seem to get me anywhere. 

I am not a clean freak by any stretch of the imagination, but I like for things to be tidy, things haven't been tidy, let alone clean since my Mom left when Matilda was a week old. 
 According to "A stay-at-home mother is a housekeeper, a cook, a day-care center teacher, a facilities manager, a computer operator I, a van driver, a janitor, a psychologist, a laundry machine operator, a chief executive officer, a staff nurse, an event planner, a nutritionist, a logistics analyst, an interior designer, a bookkeeper, an administrative assistant, a plumber, a general maintenance worker and a groundskeeper. According to, stay-at-home mothers work 94.7 hours per week."

It's no wonder that by night time, after the 1st time I've put Matilda to bed, I just can't face doing anything but sitting down.

Sorry friends, I'm just having a rough day.


  1. Oh Boy, I understand your frustration! No way round it there's a shit load of stuff that has to be done. In some ways that does get easier as they get older - for one you train them to do little chores as you go along so they get used to helping out. Like with puppies it's all in the training! But then Dads need training too. Email or phone me if you want to rant/ let of steam etc.

  2. You can do it, my dear!!!
    I think of everything everyone told me when I was feeling EXACTLY like this-stuff like:
    'This too shall pass', and 'It's only a blink, just a tiny bit of time that will be over soon'. I listened, nodded politely, knew they were right, but it still sucked, right here and now!
    I wish I could tell you some magic thing, but I don't know if there is any magic thing that will make it all better. I do know, that you CAN do this, you are Matilda's mum and God singled you out of everyone else to do this job, because you can! Motherhood is not for wimps, and it stretches you to the limits of ability, every day.
    Yesterday Grace told me that she decided to follow Jesus on her own because she saw how important He was to me, that she heard about Him from me and could tell that He was good because of me. ME! The grouchy, scattered, disheveled woman who can nag from dawn to dusk about the state of the house, homework, whatever. I was staggered. Parenting daily, you forget tht what you are aiming towards is all in the future, there are few pay-off moments of a goal accomplished such as you would have in a 9-5 job.
    When Grace told me that it was a definite pay-off moment, and I grasped for a minute the awesome calling that is motherhood.
    So. What does that mean for you in nappy land? Right now, you are showing Matilda the love of God, you are a conduit of His love extended to her. A holy task! And this too shall pass.
    I love you!

  3. I'm not sure who Rosa is, but she's EXACTLY right and what a neat reminder with what happened with her daughter. But it does get easier when they are older, that's for sure. They can even help with the chores (and think it's fun) at 2, that'll be here before you know it. The best practical advise I can offer for getting it all done is think about each project not as a whole, like the WHOLE house needs cleaned but just pick a small project every day. And say, I will get blank done today, something small and manageable, like mopping a floor or a load of laundry or a after doing dishes, clean up the rest of the kitchen. Just like any job if you make a small manageable "to do" list I know you can accomplish it. And the best way I help motivate Gmo to help is I say, for the next twenty minutes, let's vacuum, dust and clean bathrooms, I ask him what he wants to do and i'll do the rest. You can speed clean, get it all done and you've both chipped in and it's only a few minutes out of your day....I've been at the end of my rope working 50-60 hour work weeks for 2 months trying to get it all done, but I just have take a breath and think about it in small doable projects, not one big giant project which I do not have time/energy for. Hope that helps! And I hope you have a better day!!

  4. Awww, bless you! As stressed and tired as you feel right now, you are not alone. Every mother has been exactly where you are, feeling how you feel. It's frustrating, tiring, sometimes upsetting and you can't see an end in sight. It feels worse because you are so tired. I agree with Rosa, it will pass and as they get older, they can actually help you out with things (even at Zack's age they can do little things). I used to stress so much over the state of the house (still do on occasion!) and I know it can really get you down. Don't punish yourself for what you don't have time or energy for. Do what you can, don't sweat the small stuff, nobody will pass judgement on your housekeeping skills (nobody who's opinion matters!). Get out of the house and into fresh air for a break so you're not surrounded by housework. If Matilda naps, drop everything and shut your eyes. Most of all, give yourself some time to do something you enjoy whenever there's a spare moment (even if there's a mound of chores still to do!) - it's your therapy time to be treat yourself and feel more human and more 'Felicia'. Might be a good book, a bit of craft, a good TV programme, anything you can totally enjoy. Being a mum is hard, hard work, but there's the bright side of having this wonderful little person around to be your best friend, who you can watch grow and learn, knowing that hse's as wonderful as she is in the most part, due to you. Don't apologise for telling it like it is, come and moan at us anytime you like. We totally get it. xxx

  5. Thanks so much ladies. I do adore Matilda and most days LOVE my role. But I've been struggling over the past couple of days. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, maybe it's the extra chore of scrubbing runny poo out of the carpet after letting Matilda go diaper free to help with her terrible rash.
    I didn't go to playgroup today, that probably didn't help my mood either. I will be going to playgroup tomorrow and we have a play-date on Friday.
    If you'll excuse me I'll be getting back to my knitting! I'm about 1/3 of the way through Matilda's Christmas stocking :)


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